Set Phrases on Stun or Houston...we've got a product
Posted by James Ellis on January 21, 2018 . 0 Comments
The ongoing saga of an idea’s journey to market and more.
"Captain, I think you should see this," said Communications Officer O’Hara, turning her monitor toward Kerk as he approached from the Captain's chair. He put his decidedly old fashioned half glasses on halfway down his nose and peered down over her shoulder.
"What in Zeus's name is that!" he said softly, working to make sense of what he was seeing.
Star Fleet Academy taught that a thorough Understanding of the Problem must always Precede any Action or Decision that might affect others… especially that whole "let's just nuke the plasma out of them" decision. This incredibly simple Understanding First idea is something that we currently seem to feel is out of fashion. :)
"I may be able to help you with that, Captain" a baritone worthy of a first call voice over talent shot through the air, causing Kerk's entire left ear to vibrate slightly... O’Hara was wearing ear buds and still shook a little.
It was, of course, the uber-logical, impressively over-educated Science Officer Quark making them a trio around the monitor. "I believe that those primitive marks and runes are representative of a long dead language they called "English"... further, I believe that they represent a list of magic incantations and invocations to be used to appeal to the Central Searching Unit of a tiny nexus that they called, believe it or not, The Internet." (If he had not been Vulcan, he would have followed the last bit with "Bwaaaaaahahahaha").
"When you decode those crude pawings you get this", said Quark, causing the translation to appear on the screen between them:
- dead bulb
- change bulb
- bulb replacement
- change lights
- bulb change pole
- bulb changer
- bulb changer pole
- candelabra bulb changer
- chandelier bulb changer
- chandelier bulbs
- chandelier light bulb
- highlight bulb changer
- light bulb changer
- light bulb changer pole
- light bulb changer pole kit
- light changing pole
- out of reach
- collapsable pole
"Apparently the idea was that the more often certain phrases and keywords were discovered on The Internet by the powerful Search Engine Unit the sooner your product might be the result of a search and many more searches might suddenly be applicable to your place, called a Site.....the more words and phrases that refer to your tiny store on this huge web, the more likely you are to get Traffic to your Website, therefore generating Sales. This must have been at a time when they still used Money as a financial concept and it functioned to generate a long debunked idea called Cash Flow. " (Several of the Bridge Officers were actually rolling on the floor at this point.)
"We have, of course, a complete copy of The Internet through its entirety," the tall Vulcan continued, "from its first iteration to well after it became irrelevant, so I used it to find a trail to the actual Site being promoted and discovered a tool that is truly remarkable and surely must have been well received by the population of the time." Like before, he caused a graphic of the HighLight Bulb Changer to shine out at them from the UltraHD screen.
"It is simply the best answer to changing out of reach CHANDELIER BULBS...something that no one had before done nearly as effectively ..it actually ...'go(es) where no one (mostly) has gone before'."
"And that, Captain", said Quark with his uniquely Vulcan sense of humor "is dah feen eh skinny on dat bitty kitty". (Entire Bridge in chaos).
Jim Ellis, CEO of Faraday Partners llc, invented and patented the technology for its flagship product, the HighLight Bulb Changer™. This bulb changing pole ensures safe, easy replacement of upward facing chandelier bulbs saving you time and money.